


In my blood

by spideyreids2003



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Adorable Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Anxiety, BAMF Michelle Jones, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Peter Parker is a Mess, Precious Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Prompt Fill, Protective Tony Stark, Smoking, Whumptober 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:27:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27101947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spideyreids2003/pseuds/spideyreids2003
Summary: Even though he had been through a lot for someone his age (death of his parents? Check. His uncle dying, bleeding in front of him? check. Dying and then coming back to life to see his mentor now has a child of his own? Check.)He had been doing good in college. He had decent enough grades to hold his scholarship tight. His roommate was his best friend Ned, he had a girlfriend whose dad was not a villain (yeah, he knew that long distance relationships had a slim chance of lasting, but he and MJ made it work together).Then why did he feel like this? Why was the empty hole in his chest still growing like a gaping blackhole?ORPeter is sad and Tony Stark is a good dad.I'm not doing whumptober prompts but day 19- guilt was just calling for me :)
Relationships: Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	In my blood

**Author's Note:**

> Tw: smoking, depressive thoughts.

He didn't know when the habit had started. One evening he impulsively brought a lighter, not having the guts to buy a pack yet (because drinking is overrated). He kept it there, clicking it on and off, basking in the clink sound it made everytime his thumbs flicked it.

Even though he had been through a lot for someone his age (death of his parents? Check. His uncle dying, bleeding in front of him? check. Dying and then coming back to life to see his mentor now has a child of his own? Check.)

He had been doing good in college. He had decent enough grades to hold his scholarship tight. His roommate was his best friend Ned, he had a girlfriend whose dad was not a villain (yeah, he knew that long distance relationships had a slim chance of lasting, but he and MJ made it work together). 

Then why did he feel like this? Why was the empty hole in his chest still growing like a gaping blackhole? 

The world had been a blur the past few months, his arms mechanically working assignments and brain firing signals at god knows how many miles per hour. 

Staring at the scenery in front of him, he leaned on the cold metal railings of the balcony of the lakehouse, bringing the cigarette close to his mouth, taking a puff of it and wincing when the smoke burned his lungs. He remembered, before the bite when his lungs would burn in a similar way when he did something remotely strenuous.

It definitely wasn't the same feeling, but the sensation of burning was ever present. With a tightness building in his chest, he scrunched his eyes, tears threatening to fall, a lump forming in his throat. He felt like a stranger in his own mind, the boiling fire taking over his body as he remembered Tony Stark's half burnt face.

Everywhere he went, his face would be there. The walls, the posters above head. That day had been a day of joy for half of the world, the ones who had gotten their loved ones back, but it was also the day they had almost lost the earth’s mightiest hero. 

In the end, Wakandan tech and a will to live to see his spider-baby and now five year old daughter had managed to save him, but the overwhelming guilt that came with the fact that Tony Stark had created time travel to bring him back still ate him from the inside. Peter had  _ heard his heart come to a stop _ , yet he wasn’t surprised when a month later, he found that the man he had come to think of as his father figure was alive. Alive and bound to a wheelchair, but alive nonetheless.

"Peter," MJ's voice came from behind him. He could hear the disappointment in it from far far away. She didn’t come any closer, didn’t wrap her arms around his waist or rest her head on his shoulder. One more thing to feel guilty about. 

He just kept disappointing people.

"I know, I'm trying okay?" He said, turning around to face his girlfriend. He tried not to look desperate as he took another drag, filling his lungs with the nicotine, the lightheadedness bringing a blissful silence to the wandering thoughts. 

“Whatever you say, just so you know, Mr. Stark is here.” She said, moving aside to reveal a sad looking Tony as he hastily shoved the butt on the ground, stomping on it to extinguish the flame.

“Since when?” He asked, pointing towards the cigarette butt on the ground.

“I don’t remember.” He said, throat suddenly feeling clogged as tears appeared in his eyes. To his mortification, a few drops fell along his face.

"You know you can talk to me right? To all of us, Happy and Pep and your aunt and MJ, we're all here for you kiddo." He said solemnly, waiting for a reaction.

"I don't have anything to talk about. There's nothing left to change." 

"That's not true Pete-" 

"-it is! It is because I died and came back to life five years later, only to see you almost die! And live with the fact that this was all my fault and now you have a family of your own, a daughter who has your blood!" Sobs wracked his frame, a frown settling on his face before his mentor pulled him into his chest.

It was nice, different from the brief hug they had during the battle, "I saved the universe for you Pete, and I would do it again, without hesitation. No questions asked, because you're as much my son as Morgan's my daughter, you get that?" 

"Yes sir." He chuckled, "sorry for the uh, you know, I'm trying to quit I swear!" 

"I know you are, kid. I'm not exactly happy with the habit, but I've been living with Pep for what, two decades? Still haven't gotten her to quit." 

Wrapping his mechanical arm around Peter's shoulders, he ruffled his short buzz cut hair, shaking his hands away from his head like when he was still in freshman year. 

"Wait, Pepper smokes?!" The thought felt morbid in his brain. Pepper was the definition of put together, and to think she was into such a habit brought a weird relief. He's not alone. 

"Yeah, I mean it's rare now that she's with Morgan most of the time, but the habit's still there." 

"Wow. Who knew." 

Walking inside, he immediately smiled at the sight of MJ playing with Morgan, the smell of steak wafting the air of the penthouse. Taking a whiff of his own shirt, he scrunched his nose at the smell of nicotine. 

"You have that disgusting cologne you wear right?" He asked Tony, smirking when he grumbled about "ungrateful brats".

"It smells very nice thank you very much. Pepper loves the smell." 

"Ew okay I don't need to know anything more." 

Laughing, he ruffled his hair again, shoving him towards the bathroom. 

"Tony! Pete! How long are you both going to take? Dinner's gonna get cold!" Pepper shouted from the hall.

"Just a second love! Pete's gotta do his beauty treatment first!" 

"Oh come on!" He groaned, giving Tony the dirty eye.

Bad habits die hard, but when he had his family with him, he knew he would be alright. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are appreciated <3<3<3


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